They’ll vaccinate the young men
Upon their arms so warm
They’ll vaccinate the babies
The moment they are born
They’ll vaccinate the maidens
On the ankle or the thigh
They’ll vaccinate the old men
A week before they die

Chorus:
Another craze has struck Salt Lake
Folks are asking “Did it take?”
When you go out
The news-boys shout
“Have you been vaccinate(d)?”

They’ll vaccinate the old maids
Upon their modest arms
They’ll vaccinate the sheep and pigs
Upon their separate farms
They’ll vaccinate your auto
And your license number too
They’ll vaccinate the polar bears
And the elephant in the zoo

Chorus
They’ll vaccinate the roosters
And the hens upon their legs
Two days before they’re even laid
They’ll vaccinate the eggs
They’ll vaccinate the table
They’ll vaccinate the chairs
They’ll vaccinate the apples and
They’ll vaccinate the pears

(Chorus)
They’re vaccination crazy
They’ll vaccinate the loon
They’ll climb up when it’s hazy
And they’ll vaccinate the moon
The sun, the stars, the universe
They are vaccination mad
They’ll vaccinate the sorrowful
And vaccinate the glad

(Chorus)
They’ll vaccinate the dogs and cats
They’ll vaccinate the fleas
They’ll vaccinate the cabbage head
They’ll vaccinate the peas
They’ll vaccinate the clothes you wear
Your razor, brush and soap
And if you want to hang yourself
They’ll vaccinate the rope

(Chorus)
The world is full of jazz and cranks
It’s full of syncopation
But let us keep these vaccine pranks
Outside of legislation
Or they’ll vaccinate your hydrant
And they’ll vaccinate your well
Then they’ll vaccinate your heaven
And make life an itching hell